


Happy single peoples day cuz fuck couples.

by RandomNobody1703



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Detroit: Become Human (Video Game) RPF
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Cell Phones, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Cockblocking, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Fun, House Party, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jericho (Detroit: Become Human), M/M, Slang, Texting, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:13:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22730791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomNobody1703/pseuds/RandomNobody1703
Summary: About 20 minutes late but fuck it, it's still valentine's day
Relationships: Markus/Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Original Chloe | RT600/North, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	Happy single peoples day cuz fuck couples.

**Author's Note:**

> I like writing shit where North is the life of the chatroom

*Burn_Them_All has entered the chat*

"Sup bitches!!!!" -North

"*sigh*" -Josh

"Single people's club is today! Come to my place so we can cry together!" -North

"Ewwww, Josh don't do that. Even in text form it's ugly." -North

"Damn, that actually sounds fun." -Connor

"You sure I have to be single?" -Connor

"..." -Nines

"Are you alright little brother?" -Nines

"Fuck you! I'm older!" -Connor

"I'm guessing that's a yes." -Nines

"Single people only! If I see any of you relationship having asses I'll kill you." -North

"She isn't lying btw." -Josh

"I honestly don't know what's worse, the fact that North's hosting the party or the fact that it's at my house." -Markus

"You and Simon better make plans, cuz if I see u. Ur ded!" -North

"We literally have nowhere else to go..." -Simon

"Not my problem." -North

"Bro, why you cockblocking?" -Markus

"So not cool man." -Simon

"Josh, you're forbidden from coming too." -North

"I wasn't planning on going..." -Josh

"Dammmmnnnnnn!!!" -Simon

"Josh, go off!" -Connor

"Hence why you're not allowed smartass 🙄🙄🙄" -North

"I meant I'm not single but whatever." -Josh

"😯" -North

"😯" -Simon

"😯" -Connor

"I can't be the only one who knew this right?" -Markus

"I can't be the only one who doesn't give a shit, right?" -Nines

"TELL ME!" -North

"TELL ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW YOU SIX-HEAD PIECE OF SHIT!" -North

"No." -Josh

"JOSH!!! TELL ME!!" -North

"No." -Josh

"I hate you." -North

"You make me sad." -North

"Ok then..." -Josh

"Since you won't be going home tonight, what you guys doing tonight?" -Josh

"Fucking." -Markus

"Ya, that's kinda the point of valentine's day, is it not?" -Simon

"I need new friends." -Nines

"I hate to ask, but where?" -Connor

"I need new siblings." -Nines

"Does it matter?" -Markus

"We could fuck in a phone booth for all I care." -Markus

"I just wanna point out that this is our savior. Not throwing shade but um... yeah..." -Nines

"Sounds like Nines is getting blue balled, wanna come to the party?" -North

"I'd rather gouge my eyes out." -Nines

"Why Nines always acting like he don't love us. We all know you do, hun." -Simon

"I'm not going to confirm or deny that statement." -Nines

"I'm spending my evening with Detective Reed, my significant other." -Nines

"Ewwwww, relationships!!!" -North

"Ewwwww, Gavin!!!" -Connor

"Damn, so no one tryna come to this party? It's just gonna be me and Chloe huh?" -North

"Well fuck y'all and fuck y'all relationships!" -North

*Burn_Them_All has left the chat*

"Pretty sure the 'failed party' was just an excuse to hangout with Chloe ngl." -Simon

"Yeah, she's totally going to spit game." -Markus

"So since technically by the end of the night, she won't be single anymore, we can go home then right?" -Simon

"100%" -Markus

"Good because I really don't want to fuck in a phone booth." -Simon

"Jesus Christ. TEXT PRIVATELY." -Nines

*Nines_Anderson has left the chat*

*Connor_Anderson has left the chat*

*Joshy_Tings has left the chat*

*Big_Dick_Energy has left the chat*

*Simon_The_Cinnamon_Roll has left the chat*

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote a valentine's day fic last year, might as well.
> 
> Had a lot of fun. As you can tell, a lot of my teenage slang is in here, made it so much more enjoyable to write this so I couldn't resist.
> 
> Who is Josh fucking? I honestly don't even know myself lol.
> 
> Happy valentine's day.


End file.
